Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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