tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you had me at cake vodka
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
