Dual....:-)
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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