let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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