Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
