watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
