Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I understand Curling. That high.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
