The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize