uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my phone needs a breathalizer
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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