I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i now understand why vodka
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
