is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
