he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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