Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
