So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
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you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
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I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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