he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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