I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
