Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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