i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
