i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sorry my hands just texted you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
