'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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