For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
