i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
