I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
