I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
