We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
