feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
