So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
