he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
