I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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