i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
