Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
