Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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