why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
