I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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