im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
