You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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