God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
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DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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