how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
