I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
