I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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