I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
