too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
well, you know. whores of a feather.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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