He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
