one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
