Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Welp...herpes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize
