Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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