You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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