we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
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