I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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