Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
