I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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