dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
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This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
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I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
me + whiskey = a bad person
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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