I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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