I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize