the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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